I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
