'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We got so high we made milksteak
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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