she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
