I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
