All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
