3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
