he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
