The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
