Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
