i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I will pee on everything he values.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
