come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
