Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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