What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
