Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
