fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My vagina just clenched in fear
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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