The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
