I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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