my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
