my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This is my gift to your gina
Everyone says I win the strip club
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
