She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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