I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
