3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
