There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
