I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
