roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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