i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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