Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
