Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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