Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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