I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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