Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
