ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
