So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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