Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
