i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
