he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
