BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
