i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
