yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Randomize
