Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
