C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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