Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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