this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
