Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
