...so i touched it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
