My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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