I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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