I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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