Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
