ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
